Fear Not

An eighteen year old young woman is being trained as the Zumba instructor. She just graduated from high school and has been finding her way into the next phase of her life on this earth. She greets us as we enter with an energetic "O la" and maintains that high energy level as she guides us through the daily routine. Her presence is pure delight.

However, I noticed that I was experiencing her as totally annoying. In meditation, I asked myself, "Why is this happening?" Instead of an answer, I received the question, "What is your greatest fear?" If I wasn't annoyed before, I sure was now. It hadn't occurred to me that my annoyance with her had its source in fear.

What was I fearing?

As I continued to reflect on this intrusion, I wound my way into a cave of bright, clear, vibrant energy. A source within me that had been stored away for what feels like eons.  Believing I might perish by this fire, I ask myself,. "Do I dare feel this energy?"

 My imagination returned to this young woman of 18. I imagined myself at 18, dancing all day in a gym, leading women of all grown up ages. I can tell you right now, when I was 18, this would not have been me. I could not even get up in front of a class and read a book report or give a speech.

Yet here she was, giving her all, confidently and with boundless energy. She was so effulgent, I could feel her joyful heart. She was supporting a strengthening part of me which only shows up on very rare occasions. As I reflect on the situations of my life in which I just dove in and swam with joy, I recall a shark coming along and taking a bite out of my leg - every time. I'm sure that is not a 100% record, but darn close. The result? Failure, retreat, regret that I had let a little thing like a shark biting my leg get in the way of what I was loving..

Recently, I had the opportunity to strut my stuff, so to speak. I did this in front of 100 or so people. I carried it out passionately, even got lost in it all.. I experienced a radical transformation from deep within myself.  No shark came along and bit my leg, either.

Here we are, this 18 year old young woman and this 66 year old "old broad", sharing the experience of giving everythnng that we have to give passionately into the moment we are living.

This annoyance I feel, is a biting shark, not this young woman's great energy.  I say, "Go away shark! You've had your day!"

"It is our turn to have our  moments in the spotlight of passionate expenditure.

We have the go ahead  to  feel joy in every cell of our body and it is our privilege to let it guide our dancing bodies through the day. 

What is your greatest fear?