An Ode to Death

Welcome Death, welcome to my new day

Born to dance on up and down the road called "Bein' Alive"

For however long until the final moment arrives

When breathing ceases and heart beat stops

In the meantime I carry on with purpose

And when all  business is finished

When  all lessons are learned and its time to move on

When you invite me into a new kind of dance  I am willing

And take your hand as you guide me there

Safely home 

whole life lived

Perfect  in every smile and tear 

And dream and despair

All is well

May through July of 2016 I was in limbo from a dramatic life change. During that time, I remained numb. At the same time, my unconscious awareness (an oxymoron I know) was planning a healing journey.  During these three months i rearranged my whole house to accommodate living alone and free from the past. During this time I also made plans and arrangements for journeying to a healed and healthy place, a place in time where I now reside.

And so the journey through this year begins:

From August through October  I was on the road most of the time from Vermont to Chicago to  Germany to France and back. Every place I went I encountered an old memory, a new site, and a connection with those I have known and loved. I experienced  a full sense of belonging wherever I was whether it was on a road trip with my son, Randy, or a retreat at Plum village, France. 

November 2016 through February 2017 I began what I will remember as a reentry into the world around me. I got involved in the community with fear and trepidation. Would this environment allow my entry as the person I am or would I have to flex to accommodate belonging? The election war zone and my own recent years of sheltered existence  kept me on an endless nerve racking edge. At the same time, this reentry held delightful encounters and Spirit nourishing  invitations beckoning me to become new. I experienced myself as a seed  planted and beginning to grow (maybe  into a biblical tree).  Perhaps the despair was the earth being tilled to grow this new garden of me.

March through May definitely was a turning point. Spring had arrived and everything was sprouting and blooming and my venture into the community became a dance through this garden of life. Conversations with colleagues of yore, time with new friends, and deepening my own Spiritual path were filled with sunshine.  I was learning to live more fully than I have ever known. I realized this was happening when all regrets left to take their place in the past to rest in peace.

June began with my grandson, Justin Reece, completing his journey on Earth and is ending with dear sweet and lovely friend, Jan Simpson, also moving on  into the Light quite unexpectedly. These two months and two events have been laced with preparations for the coming year. My son, Russ, moved back to his home here in Crescent City, bringing with him the presence of  family in real time again. Death will invite us all soon enough. These two months have been a reckoning with the reality of Death. When Death takes my hand and leads me to the next realm, I welcome the continuation of the journey.

In the meantime, with a bubbling sense of freedom and adventure, I am committed to living each  moment wonder filled. I have plans for this year. They are not yearnings nor are they goals. They are projections of possible experience. They are Spiritual and practical and compassionate responses to a suffering planet, by the way I live my life each day.

EThis year has been preparation for a whole new cycle for me. It may turn out that it has been preparation for Death's invitation. I am just not going to be worrying about what it is or isn't. I am just going to be moving on up and down the road "Bein' Alive".

A yearly reflection on the occasion of remembering one's birth is a spiritual exercise.  I invite you to do the same. It is very personal and finally all about you. You  get to have that privilege at least once a year with ultimate legitimacy!!!

The Saboteur With Pure Intent

The Saboteur steps in and causes a distraction, a smoke screen, a drawing of attention to other than the focus or path. This energy  either leads to failure of intention,, or perhaps even avoidance of what is really happening.

A few years ago, I brought my new camera to a training weekend. It had the capacity to take exceptionally  high quality face portraits.  While the facilitator was spinning the context for the next session, I was snapping photos, one by one of everyone around the circle. I was oblivious to the distraction the flash was causing. Everyone was paying more attention to my self-absorbed drama than to the facilitator. Fortunately, for the sake of the training's intent, she called me into account.

Of course, I was humiliated and she was unforgiving of my behavior.  She did stop the Saboteur in its tracks and my photography game along with it. I must add, however, that I am grateful for her excellent role modeling of neutralizing the Saboteur.

Such events have the potential for occasioning  diligence in becoming present to the environment while in said environment where there are other people.

A keen sense of mindful awareness of my presence in a people filled environment is very freeing. To be able to choose my relationship to where I am, transforms unconscious sabotage into an Ally  with the intent of the purpose for being there in the first place.

My intent in taking the face portraits may have been pure, but it was different than the purpose for being there.  Instead of being a supporting energy in the training, it was a distraction, out of sync with the facilitator's objectives, therefore destructive.

This has happened to me on an occasion or two of being the facilitator of an intention.
The Saboteur within my Soul has had occasion to have its way, too.

This happens in the media all the time.  There is a real issue threatening the well being. A faux issue is created to distract reality. The real issue goes unattended, free to continue its destruction. Unnecessary to point to examples! The Saboteur is too wide-spread and devious to cover in this blog entry.

Acknowledging t the Saboteur in our lives and in the world is important. Say, "Hello there. I understand your suffering!"and let it go. It does have a pure intent. It just needs to know where it can be the most supportive of Will's intent. and be aligned with that.

Where is the Saboteur working in your life? Where do you see it working in the world?  How will you respond?









How to dissolve resentment of these coccasions.