The Bird

For awhile, I worked with children of autism. At the time, the spectrum was not defined. There were autistic children and children who had characteristics of autism.

One child I worked with was authentically autistic, defined as such by her characteristic behaviors and by the fact that she had a little hole in the back of her skull. She did a lot of screeching and head banging, I believe because she was so sensory sensitive that even the slightest disturbance in the environment was extremely uncomfortable for her. I imagined her experiencing a class of children entering the lunchroom as a herd of stampeding elephants coming straight at her, for instance.

The physical therapist worked with her to teach the girl  how to hit a NO or YES button to answer a question. I do imagine the feel of the buzzer was like being stabbed with a concrete drill. She was quiet if she could roam freely - kind of like a feral cat.

For almost two years, we worked with her on ways to communicate her needs - to replace the stimming and screeching and headbanging  She appeared to making no functional progress.

One day, she took my hand, which she had learned would get my attention. She led me to the door and put my hand on the door knob. I opened it and she took my hand again and led me into the field. We walked to the edge of the field to the trees. She pulled my hand to sit down. We both sat down. Then she stared at the trees  until she saw a bird under one of them. She took my hand and pointed my arm toward the bird. We looked at the bird. Then she said, "Buhd,:" and looked at me for my response. I was so excited, I got up and danced around clapping with joy. She got up and danced - sort of - too. Then, we walked back to the school.

That event with a child of autism was a lesson well learned for me.  When attempting to communicate with others, don't presume anything about what is transpiring. Don't make assumptions about what's happening within the other person. Have patience, and trust in the process of expressing thoughts and feelings.

This child of autism is but a metaphor of how difficult it can be to communicate thoughts and feelings. Most of us just screech and bang our heads against the wall in frustration when no connection can be made in the attempt to communicate.

All I can say, is from this child of autism, I learned that there are many ways to communicate. It was, for me, a learning process to listen deeply, observe deeply, and feel deeply. And yes, sometimes I forgot to do that.

Where in the world is this skill needed today? Yes, but, even more so, where in every day encounters?

Russ

First came Rob, then thirteen months later - Russ, and six minutes after that - Randy. Yes, Russ is an identical twin.  Russ and Randy look exactly alike. And that's where it ends.  Their personalities are differrent. Both are  loving and caring men, are independant thinkers, and able to give themselves fully to their work.

Russ has a connection to Soul as a free Spirit. I wasn't a good mother who developed for my children the discipline to master an instrument, per se, so I can take little or no responsibility for Russ's ability to express himself musically. When he decided to learn how to play the guitar. he was about 30. He'd play the same chords over and over. Eventually, I could feel the sponteneity in his playing. Then, he began practicing in his car with the doors and windows closed. He was getting very good at playing the guitar. I suspect it made him feel self-conscious, to be playing music that came from such a brilliant source,  but don't know for sure becaue I never asked him. He was almost obsessive about mastering that guitar's mysteries. And he got to be a masterful musician as a result. When he plays, the music comes from that special place only few are able to access so deeply. It is that place where the listener feels one with Spirit.

Russ owns a house in Floida which was recently robbed of all appliances and his rare guitar collection. He was in the process of stuffing the experience into oblivion, about to go on with his life, "like a man". should. But, when he acknowledge the betrayal  and indignation he was feeling, I could see his face relax and feel the peace he experienced by embracing the experience and THEN letting it go.

What a great gift is being so connected with the music which comes from that special creative source - the gift of all gifts. Every person can connect with that mystery of music, art, and dance of the drama of the great "Yes" to life's experiences. Russ is blessed with having mastered being able to access the music of the Soul. Those who listen, are inspired by his music.

When I want to connect with that deep and special creative source, I find a CD which is so inspiring. It accompanies me during meditation times.  If I have no access at the moment, I use my voice - a song or a mantra. How do you access this place in your Soul?

Creative/Artistic Typology

In recent years, many children are being diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, Aspbergers (a form of Autism), and Bipolar Disorder. As a Guidance Counselor, I watched this diagnosed population grow in leaps and bounds in twenty years. The tendency of public education is to then staff these children into special education with an emotionally handicapped label.

Traditional interventions - behavior modification and/or medication and/or the belt - either don't work or makes zombies of these precious human beings. They are very smart, seem to be born operating at the higher end of Bloom's taxonomy, possess a certain brilliance, do not fit in the linear sequential patterns of teaching/learning, and possess gifts and talents which have little value in public education.

These children are also seductive, alluring, intense, charming, independant, and manipulative. I might just have one or two of these disorders and exhibit some of these traits myself - as may also be the case with you.

 This type of personality has always been around. Clinical psychology diagnoses these behaviors as pathology. Many of these personalities become addicts, and thus are labelled as an addictive personality and maybe attachment disorder. Some of us are attracted to these personalities, giving us labels of co-dependence. For others, the red flag rises, the firewall slams shut, back is turned, and feet make haste in another direction.

I prefer to relate to the potential within each encounter, and if there is a label, let it be creative/artistic type.

We all have a tendency to personify or transfer the feelings accompanying being drawn into this energy.   I have learned, about myself, that these personifications - or the people upon which I transfer the attraction, are always, yes always, creative/artistic types.

I have learned that this drama of attraction is creative energy within myself which is coming alive. The relief for the agonizing promise of pure bliss is to express creativity myself, while being grateful for and appreciative of the collegiality and support and friendship of that personification which has drawn me in, hooked me helplessly, and mercifully been the occasion for my own motivity.

By relating, in counseling, to this type of personality, not discounting the diagnoses, guidance more supports the potential, brings mindfulness to the behaviors, and coaches in behaviors to communicate effectively and release creativity.

Where are you being drawn into another's energy with the expectation of bliss?
How do you disidentify and channel your energized creative energies?