Nuwara Eliya - Reflection on Sri lanka

 Miles and miles of hills filled with tea bushes, and an infinite cascade of  waterfalls nestled in every curve of a hill. As the rickety train chugged on toward our final destination, the air cooled, the hills steepened and this is what was there to behold, seemingly endlessly.

At each train station, there was a town. Every town had a Buddhist shrine , a Buddha statue  and many tuk-tuks. Each town was comparatively poor in contrast to the high rise towers in Colombo which was home base for this journey to the other side of the earth. Closer to Colombo, many rice paddies, muddy with new harvest and replanting, lined the tracks - until the hills began to rise on either side.

 The sun shown brightly, while at the same time as we climbed into the hills, another layer of warm clothing was needed. This sunshine proved to be a deceptive beginning to what turned out to be a cloudy and rainy visit. As the sun set each day, mist creeped into every crevice of the old colonial hotel where we stayed. Rain poured down during the night and the wind howled through the garret. The experience was not at all uncomfortable for some reason.

 I had willed that I glean the blessing of each encounter and occasion and kept focus on how everything contributed to my reasons for throwing fear to the wind and venturing into this unknown. I had a dream but no expectations for how it might realize. Relaxing into who I am and letting that be, I  let the rain wash away the past, let the wind carry away my self-consciousness and fear of offending or being disappointed. The howling of the wind were trumpets hailing in the new experiences yet to come.

A tuk tuk ride through the plantations to the waterfalls was breathtaking even through the small windows of the black rain - proof covering on it.  Of all the sites and visits - tea covered hills, cuppa at a plantation, walk through the market and bargaining with the Tamil traders, great food, the workers with bags of tea leaves, roadside stands with coconuts, or monkeys posing,  - the waterfalls definitely hold the miracle of this paradise island.

As long as I can remember, waterfalls have drawn me into their wonder. Diving off a rocky cliff, plunging into the continuing stream or river below after resting in a gently churning pool created by years of water falling into it spontaneously, and with wild abandon. The water is never the same. There is only one dive per drop of water. Endless cascading fearlessly. Each time, and this time, I connected its energy in my heart center and felt deeply, the ever-changing me, as well.

Whatever the weather wanted to be, it had the freedom to be. Whatever difficulties I might have been having personally, they all had the freedom to also be.

 I will remember one waterfalls where I meditated for a short but meaningful period. The falls was split in two sections. One appeared to be floating into the air, gracefully floating on the wind's direction, letting it lead the dive into the rapids below. The other section seemed to be more of the steady and full bodied head first plunge - a high energy and bombastic splash all the way down.  I call this falls yin-yang and hold it in my heart as the essence of my new friendship with this small place on earth.

Oh my, breathe in with joy the promise held in the environment. Its beauty sustains the dance of life, supports change, nurtures growth. Dare we not face the challenges to change that which is destroying this earth today? 

What has been your experience of being in the presence of a waterfalls?

A Friend is Dying

Lake's edge at Eagle Rock

My friend Linda is in a place in her life where she is reminded 24/7 that death is going to happen.

We all know that we are going to die someday. Some have experienced near death experiences which led to new decisions. Some are old enough to feel that death is much closer than farther from becoming a reality. Most of us accept it or fear it and do what we can to prolong its arrival.

Linda has an inoperable brain tumor and esophageal cancer. She has no insurance and lives in a state which has no sympathy for those without insurance.  She's not old enough for medicare, but does have social security and a pension which is taken up totally by the nursing care she is receiving to keep her comfortable.

Her body is wasting away. Her right arm no longer works, and she has difficulty getting the words out.  I suspect that her mind is still sharp and that physically she still has a lot of deteriorating to do. That's not a kind thought, but the brain tumor is the real inevitability.

When I talk to her, she cries because she has to wait to go into the light. She is about convinced that it is never going to happen and would rather be healthy again. I want to help her to say good-bye to this world and let go.

yesterday, we did a tarot reading. She asked what it will take for her to go into the light.  The four  tarot cards provided dialogue for her to mirror the answer from within her Soul: the issue (reversed knight of wands), the contributing conditions of the past (reversed moon), contributing contributions of the future (the star) and the final answer (the Magus).

She became aware of her own fear, denial, and resistance of the inevitability of transition, of the need to focus on the gift she has been to this incarnation and how she has always been able to do what she set out to do; to let go of the wounding she has suffered and inflicted;  of her own need to control and now the need to go with the flow; and to imagine the other side and feel it welcoming her home.

I gave her a Deeksha blessing and prayed into it a feeling of the peace that passes all understanding.

Her time to go is near. I intuit this to be true. I can help her to let go, but she will finally walk into the light by herself when she is ready.

Am I feeling helpless in my inability to heal her as she would prefer or empowered by the light of the Divine to let life Be as it is?

Forgiveness First Not Last

Working on self-work and/or Self-work face-to-face seemed an impossible adventure.

Yet, there I was face-to-face with the life's experience I had come to let go of once and for all.

It did not happen automatically by a conversation or two to get the facts straight and accept that which came to pass as whole and perfect just as it happened. Between the two of us, we did piece together an adequate scenario of the course of events which included that which motivated each of us to make the decisions we did.

By this dialogue, forgiveness began its Soulful journey to the heart of the matter - actually BEING in the moment, present in the joy and privilege of sharing the same air with each other right now where we are.

Moving into the time/space experience of here and now was painful. It required letting go of other attachments of the past, breaking out of the prison of those experiences already done and gone, never to be repeated.

 I suppose it is possible to waste away in that prison of memories, content with all that has come to pass, grieving without ceasing.  However, there is more to come, if fear can be set aside for the next grand adventure - or even something very simple, as a new and loving friendship.

Trusting that no harm will come from enjoying the present moment's course of events became a psychic dance - into the past, into the present, speculating the future, into the past, into the present..............

I felt us both relax, slowly but surely.  I felt joy, ecstasy, peace, and bliss, just being together. This was not a romantic experience at all. This was the forgiveness at the heart of the matter.

For a brief moment in time in the here and now, we connected as two people who can appreciate and be grateful for our common history and for each other's presence in our lives, no prisons to hide in, no unfinished business, no expectations.

the difference now is that we have shared the present moment, however briefly,  at the same time and have been blessed with its gift.  Separately yes, but changed by the ONENESS of it all that is.

The forgiveness which happened between us was not a mental decision. It was and continues to be  a decision to release from deep within our hearts, that which is restraining, and then entering life's dance floor  once again, in grand anticipation.

The Heart of the Matter, Don Henley and the Eagles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncF6q3QeltU

Why is forgiveness at the heart of the matter so important to being fully alive?