Old Movies Made Whole

I inherited the 8 mm film reels and projector that hold family memories from the 40s and 50s. Although I have been intending to have them digitized, I haven't found anyone to do it in this part of the world. What I really need is someone to put them onto an extended hard drive.

I'm recalling a picnic at (Great) Aunt Carrie's and Uncle Fred's. They had a chicken farm, gardens, and a willow tree in the yard. There are shots of the family on the lawn and the little kids in diapers and sun suits running around. One brother in diapers, was drinking out of an empty beer bottle. I'm remembering him, now a recovering addict.

Another was at a beach - in the summer - shots of both grandmothers,  three aunts, four cousins. The grandmothers wore fancy hats, long sleeved dresses, stockings, and sturdy shoes.  They must have been stifling in that sun! The rest of us were in bathing suits. From that, I'm also remembering a few years later at the same place, going for a ride in my father's Penn Yan - state of the art at the time, mahogany motor boat. Today, it is stored in a barn and has a hole in the bottom of it.

Another was a parade on upper Genesee Street. My grandfather's business was selling Oldsmobiles - he owned his own dealership. He was in a white riding coat and hat, with his cronies, and they were showing off their "old" cars. I'm remembering now, just a few years ago, watching the Boiler Maker run ( world famous nual foot race), as runner after runner, passed while I stood on almost the same spot as those old parade movies had been taken.

Another is pictures of my brothers and myself, at a swimming pool, diving off the board. We were quite impressive. I always thought I was fat. What I wouldn't give to be in that good of a shape these days! These are reminding me of a couple of years later when my girlfriends and I went to the same pool for the sole purpose of meeting boys - all skin and bone of me still thinking I was fat!

Memories captured on film can be powerful catalysts for spanning a life's time - like getting flat pebbles to skim across the water.With each attempt, there is a determination to outdo the previous number of hop skips , traveling further than before

I should, I know, have all the film digitized and saved on an external hard drive. Excuse me while I add that to my "bucket list".

Revisiting the movies of the past revitalizes the reality of being somehow rooted. Woven in and through this "memory meandering" is the pain, the wounding that also occurred. Some of us have been spared  extreme trauma, Most of us haven't.

The scripts of old movies can be rewritten. Yes, illusions or losing the film altogether can replace the reality of it all. But, also,  healing stories can be written which include all the facts.

Our pasts can become total gift to us, just as they really have been lived. We all have the potential of being our whole life experience - standing tall with it all - walking with confidence that we have been somehow blessed by it all - that we were meant to learn a valuable lesson from it all.

You know I'm going to suggest you review your old movies, especially those you keep rerunning.

Create a mew perspective for one for which you strongly feel regret - OR - one which  is only the happy part of the story, to include the whole movie.

What changes as a result?