My Golden Butterfly

A golden btterfly alit on my heart one day

Just as I breathed in she flew away

All she left was the eyes of her Soul

Memory of a daughter born out of love.

She will always

Be

My golden butterfly

You may be asking why the image I chose is not one of a golden butterfly. The reason is very simple. No longer do I have to IMAGINE my lovely daughter forty-five years later. I can actually see her, listen to her thoughts with a voice to say them, walk along side of her, smile together. The miracle of our hearts beating in the same proximity again is metamorphosis - from dream to reality.

My friend Lynda remarked about the many girls who went off to visit aunts for a period of time. Everyone knew, but nothing was said. I, too, went off to visit an aunt, then to a rich woman's home to help her out, then to a home for unwed mothers. The moment I turned my baby over to the arms of a social worker, was the moment happiness ended. Since then, there has been an underlyiing chronic sadness that stayed even with the magnificent - splendiferous - life that I lived.

But today, that sadness is gone. Yoikes - it wasn't a "disorder" after all!!!

Underlying the events of each day is "Chronic" joyful anticipation.

My daughter's name is Caroline. More than in physcial attrributes, we share a knack for the poetic, and a creative/artistic bent that is practical. She has it together much more than I ever did.

And she is blessed with Paige and Justin. Paige is an 18 year old blond, blue eyed angel - very smart and a sweetheart. Justin is a 20 year old red-headed and level headed and sensitive youth with magnificent potential. Two lovely grandchildren.

Caroline also gave a daughter up for adoption. It was an open adoption. She had the opportunity to choose, and her mother was with her all the way. She will reconnect with her this summer. Caroline will experience this perfect joy, too, which I would venture to say neither thought possible.

Although Psyche protects us from unbearable pain, She opens her ceiling to the Higher Self, bathing  with hope, trust. love, images of that which we hold most dear. Once in a blue moon, She also brings life full circle, extends an invitation to enter the circle, and provides the music for the healing dance!

Caroline presented me with this beadwork pendant that she created. Sitting in these stones is only one of two shots that would focus. There is some magnificent energy in this creation.  

Notice the fluttering wings of butterfly in motion in the circle!!!

Secrets bleed sadness. Unconditional love and forgiveness does not always happen in the flesh. If you have some forgiving of yourself to be about, go for it now. Share it here, or share it with your dearest friend. Open your heart to the sacred dance - of the golden butterfly.