Kenya: Life Lessons from Risk

New tracks in process. Taken near Concord, MA

An African-born colleague and I finished teaching a Village Leaders Institute in Western Kenya.  We returned to Nairobi, via a night bus.  I, being the only white face on the bus, was very grateful for having a team mate with me, in the middle of the night when some military looking men with guns stopped the bus, entered, and began searching bags.

Of course, these men were going to search my bag, which was a light blue suitcase, obviously not local. The men shouted some orders at me, which my colleague translated as orders to open my bag.  I was new to Kenya, and new to military intervention, (except for being punched in the gut by a billy club and hosed during a demonstration in the 60's - pointed guns not included.)

I was very naive, I admit, and with little common sense, to say the least.  But, my politely direct  response to this "bully" with the gun was, "I will be happy to open my bag at the American Embassy if you would like to view the contents."  My colleague, almost unable to breathe, whispered, "Give him the key!! Let him have your bag!!"

However, while he was saying this and I was searching for the key, the man with the gun pointed at me, changed his mind about having to see the contents of my bag - or anyone else's - and left the bus ordering the rest of the  men to do the same.

Within the next few seconds, I realized I could be shot, or at least beaten. As they left the bus, I caught my own breath, wondering if they were going to shoot the whole bus. Sheer terror held us all prisoners in those few moments before the men drove away.

The bus started to move again and we continued our journey to Nairobi and then onto another bus to our training center in Kamweleni, Machakos District.

While we were riding through the dark, somewhat reflecting on the experience, my colleague let me have it with his perspective on how I reacted.

Later, I learned  he was in Kenya without a passport because he was in political exile and I had really put his future among us at great risk. When I learned this,  I was even more mortified.

This information about my colleague may or may not have been true. I haven't been able to confirm it today as fact or legend. The possibility of its being true is the reason I have not mentioned his name. I also want to add that he was an exceptional young man, admired by all.


Dang that pride of mine. It wasn't an attachment to my belongings, but the injustice of it all - leftover passion from the 60's revolution days.  It could have  meant real problems for my colleague , should they notice we were connected. It could have been serious for everyone on the bus.

At the same time, maybe my intuitions and reactions were on target in that moment. One never knows.
But, some forty years ago, some women were still considered dumb broads in general. (No self-depreciation to be inferred here - merely a forgiven recollection of modus operandi at the time.)

I can only say now, that something strange and powerful was in charge that night.

When we arrived in Kamweleni, I was still shaking inside.  Relieved that we were safe, we wanted to share the success of the Village Leaders Institute and our terror filled encounter.

Living and working in  Kenya held diverse experiences. Watching people enlivened with new hope and possibility  brought balance to the affect of the less desirable experiences.

Those less desirable times each held a blessed life lesson which is much more valuable than rewards and recognition.

As I reflect on my journey through this life's time, I recall many moments before and after Kenya that I would rather not have lived. The decisions needed were more than I would prefer, given the opportunity.  Never was it a matter of right or wrong.  An occasional decision between right and right is  relatively easy for the most part. It is these decisions between wrong and wrong that tend to be put in a box to be forgotten.

They do come back eventually, expecting resolution and opening a door to self-forgiveness.
There will be impossible decisions still to make and  lessons still to learn as the journey continues.

What do you recall as a moment you made a decision, which held you in life or death suspense ?