Heart of My Heart

From my birthday, even dead, they are a wonder

I heard a song on the TV a week or so ago that I remembered from childhood:"Heart of my heart" meant friends were dearer then. Too bad we had to part. I know a tear would glisten, if once more I could listen, to that gang that sang "Heart of my Heart:.

 

My friends and I knew it by heart (!) and performed it in the little shows we'd put on in the neighborhood.

Then, on Pandora,  I listened to Emmy Lou Harris singing, I Will Dream -- "In my imagination, you are my true companion...". It struck me that this was more of a song sung by Soul to the listener, rather than the listener to a lost love. It was for me at this moment, any way.

Then,  a short while later, I heard Emmy Lou again, this time singing  All You Have is Your Soul, by Tracy Chapman. I began to listen to this call from the deeps of my  heart. I began to be mindful of the message in these and each song I heard for the next few days.


On a TV rerun of one of the early Bones (my favorite vege out show), in the song toward the end, in the background, the words were, "...Bring on the wonder. Bring on the song.  I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long...."


Each of the songs I am hearing are awakening memories of yore, both fond memories and those I would rather not have lived - and others along this spectrum.

I wake up in the morning and snippets of images of yore come in with  a vengeance. So, rather than wake up and spend the day grieving needlessly, I created a little ritual  of affirmation for each. I let it come into the screen of my partial waking, remember it, acknowledge its impact, give it a hug and a kiss, thanking it for its appearance and the lesson I learned from having lived it, and send it on its way.  


Some amazing stuff has been coming in to say, " Hello," before moving on to its place in the orchestra of my life's time. 


I am all these memories of my life's time, and I am more than these memories - all their physical, emotional, mental, spiritual relationship to me.

I am well ready to heed  the call from Soul to allow its presence, from within the deep center of my heart, as my true companion.

Photography by Jeri Umble, from her garden