Change When it all Turns to Minutia!

Tree that survived wounding early in life. Look at it today!!

Seven of Pentacles Reversed

Getting mired down in the details of a projects. Feeling there is room much to do alone, so you stop working altogether. Tired of waiting for goals  to manifest. Working too hard without taking time out to enjoy the benefits you are receiving. Spending too much time going over the details and not enough time enjoying the journey.

That was me. Yes, indeedy! And a lot of other people of whom I know this to be true.

B-U-R-N-O-U-T!!

Definition:  Time to get away, step into the pure heart space wherein abides the essence of Spirit's presence.

When there is nowhere to go.  it seems impossible to  feel that others' spaces and activities are not imposing on a  need to sit and listen to the music of nature's sounds - take time to smell the roses, so to speak..

Someone is always mowing a lawn, trimming a hedge, blowing away leaves, or doing some form of construction. Motor noises constantly, TV blaring, air-conditioners running, motorcycles on a poker run, air boats hunting alligator. ..............

With no special  person to share a common jaunt into the world of Spirit, that leaves only solitary space and time. Solitary Space and Time is a very special friend.

These all used to be a problem - an excuse to keep on doing the same old same old. Every relationship was an I-It relationship, to put it in Martin Buber's terms, and I was there to use and be used.

But know I have another good friend called Heart Space.  Heart Space holds a knowing that what is drawing me to it  outside myself abides there  inside and is calling for attention.

"Baby doll, if you no pay attention, you get yourself mighty sick," comes the cry from  the "silent voice of knowing" .  

Body begins to communicate the silent voice's messages with all sorts of aches and pains,  accidents, diseases, and attacks - increasingly more intense with each attempt to communicate.

I didn't pay attention, even with all my training and daily disciplines of paying attention. Finally, my bodily  heart said, "I am tired of this. Change what you are doing - and your relationship to it, - quit pretending you can endure this minutia driven job -  or I'm shutting down and taking you down with me!"

So here I am three and a half years later, and one heart failure later. If I fall into the same old pattern of shoveling the minutia until every bone in my body aches, I begin crying without sadness and I take a lot of naps.

Something new has stepped into support my new decision to go with the flow,engage in what makes me happy and has purpose to me,  take it slow,  pay attention to my own anguish over beginning to drown in the minutia.

I am grateful for that support, for the gently flowing tears, and for the imposed time to close my eyes and dream. I honor that support. I am able to change what I am doing and how I am relating to the one life I have to give . I am grateful for this tired out heart for hanging in there with me  when I fall into the old pattern.

Are you paying attention to that silent voice - your intuitions.?  Are you heeding the warnings your body is sending?  It isn't just real for me, or some people. It's a reality for everyone. Please take the time to pay attention. Take time to process and change.