Monday, July 30, 2018

A No Mud No Lotus Year





Another birthday is here which means setting aside time for another reflection on the year just lived. This year, I am grateful for the feeling that a Lotus is  finally blooming in the ephemeral mud pond called life.

After some reflection, I decided, of course, the turning point of this year is the gift I was given of a trip to India,  a pilgrimage to sacred sites of Buddha's life,  and precious time with my dear friend in Sri Lanka.

But, as I looked into my heart, I began to see that pilgrimage as the blooming of a precious Lotus which had grown up from the mud of many events.  I am not equating mud with miserable suffering. On the contrary, the mud represents the rich nurturing soil which allows the Lotus to be born.

The muddy pond began about a year ago, when rain began to fall in torrents in a circle of 15 people. The event planning  I was leading and working on for three months, was discarded by a unanimous vote, except for  me, leaving me devastated with disbelief.  I had been practicing the discipline of abiding calmly for several months, but had lost it when I first sensed this coup. I lost it again at the event when I was being bullied  and told the person to go to hell which also  ended a close friendship.I lost it one more time - my response was out of proportion. I had my legitimate reasons or so I was convinced of at the time. I The pond in which I was abiding was really muddy now.

The next weekend I attended a meditation retreat and, along with the dharma talks and meditation with a whole room full of like minds, the long silences provided a powerful opportunity to gain insight into the many ways the Universe was attempting to communicate with me. I listened deeply to the cause of my irrational responses.  I connected with what I really want to be at this end of my life's time on earth.  Since that weekend, everything has been different. I have been happy with that which I have chosen to do, who I have chosen to be with, and I have acquired the discipline of abiding calmly -  slowly but surely.

At that meditation retreat, the Lotus seeds were planted. There have been moments of relating to a seed buried in the mud. There have been glimpses of it emerging into the sunlight. These three sentences hold a whole year of experiences which have pointed the way to this year of new beginnings I finally claimed for myself at the beginning of 2018.

Miraculously, the first Lotus began to bloom in India. The turning point was the  meditation retreat, but life will never be the same since a powerfully full and meaningful pilgrimage to the life of a man who learned and then taught others  how to be alive.

This upcoming year I am looking forward to  being a member of the Order of Interbeing,  hosting a reunion of my family clan, and planting Lotus seeds for a permanent labyrinth here in Crescent City. Most of all, I will actually be considering how and where to be abiding calmly as I move on into my 75th year on earth.

Along with the Lotus, the Bodhi tree has become a precious symbol for me. I brought back a tiny sprout which has been growing tall and sturdy .For me, the Lotus holds the promise of new beginnings and the Bodhi holds the continuation of the mindfulness journey of new beginnings.

I am so grateful for the mud. I am grateful for the Lotus and the Bodhi. I am grateful for this year past and for the promise of this year to come. 

(Check out my new blog which I began in January: http://anandasmantra.wordpress.com )


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