Whether guidance counselor or teacher, every new year meant another formative and summative evaluation by an administrator.
As accustomed as I had become to preparing a session or lesson to be observed for feedback, I always was worried about my performance. The system was set up to keep us on the defensive.
Feedback would have been welcome and valuable, if we all were on the same page - concerned about being effective with the students.
But, it very rarely was about that. It was all about test scores, personalities, and classic classroom management.
Another element in being evaluated was the mirroring of the evaluator's own self image that was occurring.
These days, when I have expressed my opinion about someone else or something, I always have to stop and consider where I am coming from with my assertions.
If I'm having a problem with that which is other than I, instead of expecting things to be different, I do sometimes remember to look inside myself for what is happening with me and respond to that instead.
It is then I am able to respond to the conflict which has arisen.
Good when I have praised another or really am grateful for the otherness I have encountered. I do make an effort to do this as a regular spiritual practice.
However, there are those times when I have taken issue and experienced myself as a victim or find myself just resenting the injustice of it all.
At these times, it becomes more difficult to look at my own similar imperfection.
But, the most rewarding experience for me is when totally opposite perspectives have it out, not playing King Kong, but rather wrestling with an outcome that is acceptable to all.
These outcomes tend to be, inevitably, a new synthesis of perspectives.
Whether this happens in a group, between two or three people, or inside one's own psyche, when it happens, there inevitably growth and positive change and a new sense of community results.
There is a lot of work to do to create safe environments of positive change. Where do we begin? Where do you begin?
2 comments:
Can't leave comments on your blog so here it is (on facebook). When I was in school the TEACHERS were the bullies. Hope that trend has ended.
Dot Sweeney
I have read the first two, Feedback and Meditation, and was half way through the information on cancer when I realized how much more there is to an individual than anyone ever knows...maybe including oneself. I like the pictures and the honesty with which you disclose your inner being. Hope we can talk about some of this when we see each other later this month.
Sharon
Post a Comment