The Door is Open Now

 Caroline and Paige picked me up for our trek to Little Compton

In April 2010, a door of truth opened. It had  been shut tightly and sealed securely for 46 years. When asked about it, I solemnly denied its existence. It was never discussed.That's the way truths of this nature were handled way back then.  However, the times have changed. 

The seal was broken when I reconnected with my daughter, Caroline. I gave her up for adoption and was expected to go on living as if it had never happened. And so I proceeded into the future. I never  told  a single soul.Well, one time only did I tell someone, then turned around an denied it. Only a few knew and it was never ever discussed.
When Caroline and I met in April, in Rhode Island, the door opened just a bit more with the awareness in meeting her son, Justin and daughter, Paige.- no longer 3 sons, now three sons AND a daughter - no longer 3 grandsons, now a fourth AND a granddaughter. My heart was overflowing with gratitude for the revelation of truth and for these precious blessings.

 Justin and Paige just before he's off on his motorcycle trip to Florida

At the end of June, the door opened even a bit more when Caroline  connected with her daughter, Kathleen.  in Boston. They phoned  me, and I met even another granddaughter - my first born grandchild. I want  to meet her in real-time. I will take her the afghan I crocheted a few years ago to give to my first granddaughter, never even remotely dreaming that she is already grown. 

Paige with Kathleen on the phone with me for our first connection

On Monday of this week, where I was up north (in Massachusetts), Caroline and Paige  picked me up. We drove to Little Compton, Rhode Island where I met the couple who adopted her  - her parents, Pauline and James. It was a long awaited connection for us all. Now, the door is wide open.  

  Pauline and James, the lovely people who adopted Caroline

Justin, on a pilgrimage of his own, arrived on his motorcycle for Thanksgiving. Having met Russ already, he now got to meet Randy and Rob - his three new uncles. 

 Russ, Justin, Randy, and Rob on Thanksgiving Day

I would love to have a family reunion, get everyone together in one place , but that's probably not going to happen.any too soon,. At the same time,  there's still some real-time connections to be made now,  including Caroline's  meeting her father. 

 Opening this door is turning out to be an amazingly healing adventure after all. Whenever did history create such a stigma around hiding the existence of a child born out of a sense of being in love? Regrets I do have for letting go of my beloved child. Yet, I have come to understand that it was the best decision then, given the reality of it all at that time. Who made the rules that a child could be whisked away and forgotten? I never felt ashamed, yet I complied. Why did I comply? Why was I supposed to feel shame?  Who ordained that these doors be closed tight and sealed forever?

But, who would live by those rules today?  We have walked through the door of a life's time into today.  The truth is out in the open. The door is open. All of life is open. From here we proceed, hand in hand with the truth of it all. This is good.

My story is very personal, close to my heart. I am willing to be open and vulnerable because I have found a place in the center of my heart which radiates unconditional love and forgiveness into all of my memories.

I challenge us all to connect with this center within each of us, and radiate it into the radically changing world in which we live, and to the healing of this planet's systems. How will you go about this?