Ecstasy

The photo is a recent picture of Jessye Norman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYmaznpLMz8&feature=related

The video is of  Jessye Norman, performing "Sanctus from Gounode's Mass in D Minor in
Notre Dame Cathedral

I am not a master musician. In fact, for years I was afraid to get up in front of people. I did sing in a group, and in a chorus or two. In the shower, I was a great singer -able to span at least three octaves., or so I imagined. When sitting around AT a party, everyone singingor playing an instrument, expected to harmonize, I couldn't.

"I put it on my "bucket list" - when I was in my late twenties - to successfully speak in front of a group - AND to sing a solo. It would be a childhood dream actualized - at last.

I was asked to sing "And Neither Have I Wings To Fly" at a wedding. I practiced and all went well. At the wedding, nothng came out, This event happened a lot.

Then in my late 50's, I encountered Jessye Norman. I played her tape and sang along over and over. I could sing anything she could sing, or so I imagined.

The choir was singing "Panis Angelicus", which is on that tape of hers. In rehearsal, I was singing out, with the sopranos, at the top of my lungs and on key. For the concert, when I was supposed to step forward and sing above the rest of them - a somewhat solo - nothing came out.

But, then, at my mother's memorial service,when her grandson's were supposed to sing, they backed out. I had been singing Enya's, "Time Never Promised a Dream Come True", imagining myself singing it in front of a whole house full of people. I sang it in the shower until the water ran cold and the rest of the household protestested.

So, having it memorized, and having imagined myself singing it in a full house,I began the memorial, singing it - acapella. I lost myself in the image I had created of singing in a full house, and was successful beyond what I had thought possible, but still, it wasn't quite the bucket list event!

After that, I had a dream that I sang, "Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child". I was as intense and passionate as Jessye Norman's singing. Shortly after that, an occasion presented itself to me to participate in a Mother's Day event. I told the coordinator of the event about my dream. She put me on the program.

The moment came, I stood in the center aisle, imagining myself as capable as Jessye Norman about to begin. Again, a capella, I lost myself in the singing and ian ad lib interpretation of this powerful spiritual . Victory at last!

A lot of surprised people commended me later. That was fun, too. I loved the feeling that I had created a feeling of deep joy in those who listened. But, to be truthful, I did it for myself - even if it did take until the other end of my life to reach.

It was ecstasy. I self-actualized. I imagined it to be. I visualized acting it out - at all levels. Stepped out of the dream and now it is history. I do believe it took the presence of the Soul, which Norman eminates, for the will to be strong enough to support dreams coming true.
We all have this passion inside that has to express itself.

What has been for you, an experience of ecstasy in your own action?
What is the difference in that and just being successful?