Belonging in the Light of Here and Now

Miracle in the avocado tree. Does she belong where she is?

This year has been a year of becoming whole, a moment in a life's time when suffering and happiness have synthesized into one experience. They each hold their own integrity, and the roller coaster ride has been replaced with this unitive perspective.

this year has been charged with overwhelming anger, learning to acknowledge it, be grateful for it, and transforming it into love and understanding. Mindful moments of breathing have been transformative, as I l continue to learn to rest peacefully in the present. 

This year has been a wrenching bucketful of lessons in the arena of how to experience myself as planting only seeds of positive energy in communicating and working together with other people. How easy it is to lash out in revenge (if only in my thoughts) and shroud any possibility of reconciliation with dirt flinging  depression. . How refreshing to plant seeds in the good earth, follow  the wisdom of sun, rain and darkness in nourishing growth of the highest good in others and in the community as a whole.

Dying to any need of being welcome for the sensitive, capable, caring and gifted soul that I am, I have encountered the pain and joy of humiliation every step of the way into this whole new world of walking alone. 

The temptation has been present within me to destroy another for rejecting me, an outsider who will never belong, has stood squarely in my face, there  for me to reckon with boldly.

One person in particular, holds this mirror of an energy which is insisting on being acknowledged.

 She was there for many life cycles and has re-entered  as I become more community orientated again. 

the first encounter was when I called her to find out about who else was helping in the preparation of a benefit's meal. She went on and on about how someone else was in charge and insinuated that I was not welcome. Well, as reality would have it,  I was not only welcome, but my help was  needed. 

The second time this mirror of my own psychic energy appeared, she was taking up a collection. When it got to me, I was taking a photo of the sun rising.  She loudly, so that the rest of those gathered heard,  asked me if I had anything to give.  I chuckled at the irony of that question.

My internal response to each of these appearances of my own belief that I do not belong where I am was to explode in anger. Fortunately for her and for my own integrity, I have been guided by a wise teacher of wisdom and have learned much about  suffering and how to understand this energy in a way that divine light of love can heal and transform. 

This may seem insignificant to some To others of us, the ability to understand what is happening, letting its greater purpose be affirmed,  and facilitating its transformation, is the wisdom held in, I would venture to say,  the contentless center of the mythology of all religions.  

Well, I completed my part of the benefit meal that I agreed to prepare. I shared the photo of the sunrise. I belong where I am. I have a deep feeling of gratitude for the woman who mirrored my own suffering so I could continue my own healing journey. 

I will be walking daily, belonging on a rainy or sunny day in Crescent City, Florida.  Care to come along?