Belonging in the Light of Here and Now

Miracle in the avocado tree. Does she belong where she is?

This year has been a year of becoming whole, a moment in a life's time when suffering and happiness have synthesized into one experience. They each hold their own integrity, and the roller coaster ride has been replaced with this unitive perspective.

this year has been charged with overwhelming anger, learning to acknowledge it, be grateful for it, and transforming it into love and understanding. Mindful moments of breathing have been transformative, as I l continue to learn to rest peacefully in the present. 

This year has been a wrenching bucketful of lessons in the arena of how to experience myself as planting only seeds of positive energy in communicating and working together with other people. How easy it is to lash out in revenge (if only in my thoughts) and shroud any possibility of reconciliation with dirt flinging  depression. . How refreshing to plant seeds in the good earth, follow  the wisdom of sun, rain and darkness in nourishing growth of the highest good in others and in the community as a whole.

Dying to any need of being welcome for the sensitive, capable, caring and gifted soul that I am, I have encountered the pain and joy of humiliation every step of the way into this whole new world of walking alone. 

The temptation has been present within me to destroy another for rejecting me, an outsider who will never belong, has stood squarely in my face, there  for me to reckon with boldly.

One person in particular, holds this mirror of an energy which is insisting on being acknowledged.

 She was there for many life cycles and has re-entered  as I become more community orientated again. 

the first encounter was when I called her to find out about who else was helping in the preparation of a benefit's meal. She went on and on about how someone else was in charge and insinuated that I was not welcome. Well, as reality would have it,  I was not only welcome, but my help was  needed. 

The second time this mirror of my own psychic energy appeared, she was taking up a collection. When it got to me, I was taking a photo of the sun rising.  She loudly, so that the rest of those gathered heard,  asked me if I had anything to give.  I chuckled at the irony of that question.

My internal response to each of these appearances of my own belief that I do not belong where I am was to explode in anger. Fortunately for her and for my own integrity, I have been guided by a wise teacher of wisdom and have learned much about  suffering and how to understand this energy in a way that divine light of love can heal and transform. 

This may seem insignificant to some To others of us, the ability to understand what is happening, letting its greater purpose be affirmed,  and facilitating its transformation, is the wisdom held in, I would venture to say,  the contentless center of the mythology of all religions.  

Well, I completed my part of the benefit meal that I agreed to prepare. I shared the photo of the sunrise. I belong where I am. I have a deep feeling of gratitude for the woman who mirrored my own suffering so I could continue my own healing journey. 

I will be walking daily, belonging on a rainy or sunny day in Crescent City, Florida.  Care to come along?

Refreshing Sea of Painful Reality and Crippling Illusion

This blog, Circle Firefly Dance, has primarily been a series of life experiences I have had, reflecting through the screen of Psychosynthesis processing. I have tried to highlight the process as I proceeded with the narrative.  I have published over 250 experiences and deleted a few, saving them to a separate file, not because I do not stand on every word I write, but because requests were made that I do so and to do so does not compromise the guidelines by which I have chosen to live.

There is no absolute way to live, no doctrine worth dying for. Each challenge to my stance is an opportunity to learn more about being alive.

I have been known to defend my position more than occasionally, but in the end, each day is a new opportunity for love and understanding rather than disdain in the act of comparison between reality and expectations.

Here changes and Now changes continually and when I am able to listen and feel deeply, I am able to go with the flow of that change.

Adjusting well to being a solitary, I nevertheless am a social person, as are we all, no matter what the extent of our introversion. I have always had difficulty going places alone and am finding that has not changed. However, I have made the effort and am making new friends, wonderful people with much to share and are fun to be with.

 The days of sleeveless are long gone, the waist band is elastic, the wrinkles prevail, and the long silences from me in the company of one or many is obvious intrusive energy. Such self depreciating must haves regarding body beautiful  must go. Truth is, what really stands before the mirror is awesome and this is true for all of us.

Great changes are occurring in my heart and in this world. Nothing really makes sense anymore. There is nothing upon which to depend (How's that for good grammar?)   Nothing to fall back on for security. No one to turn to for direction. All we have known and been is collapsing, floating down the river, blowing in the wind, dying before our eyes.

Is this bad? No. This is all good. Let it all die dead. Weep. Mourn. Grieve.  Then we can begin creating a world where we only nourish Highest Good, Divine presence, God's love, social justice,  peaceful coexistence, love and understanding.

I am willing to give it a go. How about you?

Jammin' With the Blues Just Ain't the Same Now

Underneath and encompassing the many different stories of who we are, what we are doing here and how we best be exemplars of the Divine, is a common understandingof what could be a final act or a continuation of all that there ever was.

Recently, I attended a day long musical festival with two of my friends who were performing. One of them was the only female performer of the day. She had performed with her husband for twenty five years. He has since returned to the quantum, but his reputation lives on. She now has a new partner who blends in a more modern sound to this expression of the Soul.

A man from Georgia was particularly adoring of my friend to the point where his wife finally contacted her. They agreed to meet at this festival. The friendship was instant, even more like a family reunion. I was included in this family circle. Believe me when I say I was an enthralled participant observer of an historical moment.

Their daughter also performs in the same genre and fell in love with my female role model friend who has already mastered that to which this young women aspires. She asked her if they could sing together before the day was over. This was arranged at the end during a final jam session.

My friend did not know what to expect. This young woman's presence lives somewhere in the realm of the ecstatic. She radiated a love for life and everything in it like no one I have ever met. She was filled to the overflow with praises. She, her mother, and her father danced to the music and even got me out there dancing. And talk? All praise and sharing of the positive life she has been blessed to live.

 I could go on for a long time with this family's impact on my day and my friends' well deserved praise. This family is a gift everywhere they go. Of this I am certain. Most people who come to these things enjoy the music, rarely really letting the music carry them away to the land of joyous effulgence. This day, with these folks, was a whole new way of living the blues.

Events of the day around this family worked its way up into a high frequency. And then the moment arrived when my seasoned musician friend and this young aspirant sang together, without any rehearsal. they were accompanied by one of the festival organizers who is an accomplished musician in his own right.

they sang their hearts out. My friend  sang back up almost to this reincarnation of Janis Joplin passion. Two women stood together and sang like it was their final act on earth. Yet, it was a beginning, even more so a continuation, of  a long established genre, about to come into its own.

I needed that day. We all need days like this. We need days that mirror the ecstasy of the joyful dance which rests deep within our hearts yearning for a welcoming of its presence.

My friends deserve the praises they have received. I have been blessed with observing them being showered with the praise they so deserve. They are fine performers. Their whole lives are dedicated to singing the blues and these blues are not sad the way they are performed. These songs express feelings of the heart.The voices are vehicles for  affirming the  every day reality called the blues. And then the electric guitar sends it all on its way.

People like this family from GA have been there and experienced radical freedom so they can bring such joy to a festival and can get us all dancing to the blues.

I am for this way of seeing life. How about you?