Elaine was one of two chosen to go to a Human Development Training Institute in India.Tthis was a momentous occasion since neither had been out of the Kimberleys, let alone on a plane. I gave Elaine my best dress to wear and all of us women gave her enough to wear in style (so to speak). Elaine was married and her husband was very supportive of her going on this trip. It had not really sunk in to him that she was taking a huge step on her journey, one which he hadn't even dreamed of ever doing hmself.
Elaine and the other two returned from the training with a new glow about them. Elaine was eager to share everything, including the fact that there was another woman there from the area of the ancient part of southern India who was a mirror image of herself, the strange and delicious foods she tasted, the plane ride, the new things she learned about community development, and on and on.
She had washed all her new clothes when she returned and hung them on her line to dry. She took them off the line and folded them neatly, placing them in a corner of her hut. After that was done, she told me that her husband was very angry with her and she didn't know what to do.
I immediately empathized from my own experiences of attempting to come into my own and laughed out loud. Elaine was, understandably, really upset at my response. I apologized and took her hands and looked into her eyes.
"I understand, Elaine, and I will work with you to keep you safe." I didn't have a clue how to help, not having figured out how to keep out of harms way myself.
We agreed that she would pay some special attention to his needs and hold off on the telling the story of her journey until he appropriated the transformation that had occurred in their relationship.
But, yes, he did beat her and ruin her new clothes, burning them in the pit. I attempted to be there for her, but she was angry at me and every one of us who had sent her on this wondrous journey and then did nothing to protect her when she returned.
She had no idea that she would encounter this domestic horror. I had experienced similar and was so caught up in my own demise, conditioned as I had become to it, I did not recognize the universal characteristics of what happens when women begin to leave their subservient status to come into their own expression of being.
Elaine sunk back into the person she used to be, totally avoiding her rightful claim to matriarchal status of an ancient culture, the secret of that global experience hidden in her heart.
How easy it is for women everywhere to fall into the old ways of relating to men just to keep the peace, one of our natural gifts. How important it is for us to become mindfully aware of our personal callings to transform and come into our own. At least today, men know they have a part to play in this transformation.
Elaine's experience was well over 30 years ago, but how far have women really come?
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